How To Keep The Romance Alive In A Long Distance Relationship

Long-distance relationships (LDRs) undoubtedly test the strength of a partnership. There's no getting around it—being separated by miles can create challenges that require patience, trust, and a high level of commitment. The distance makes it harder to feel physically close, which can lead to feelings of loneliness and frustration. But don’t be disheartened. With creativity, intentionality, and modern technology, you can nurture a fulfilling and romantic connection, no matter how far apart you are. This is something I can speak to from personal experience.

My partner and I endured two years of being apart due to his job, and while it wasn’t always easy, we made it work. Today, we are living together after he received a permanent job assignment. The key to keeping the relationship strong during those years of separation was making sure we didn’t just let the romance fade away. We had to be intentional about staying connected emotionally, intellectually, and romantically. Here are 20 tips and ideas—many inspired by my own experiences and others' insights—that can help keep the spark alive and the romance intact in your long-distance relationship.

1. Good Morning and Good Night Texts

One of the simplest yet most powerful things you can do is to send your partner a thoughtful "Good morning" and "Good night" text. These messages not only let them know you're thinking about them but also provide consistency and warmth. You might even want to add a question like, “How did you sleep?” or “What are your plans for today?”

2. Plan Virtual Date Nights

Plan regular virtual date nights where you watch the same movie, cook the same meal, or even take a virtual tour of a museum together. Use video calls to keep the evening intimate and fun. You can even use services like Teleparty (formerly Netflix Party) to sync movies and shows, making the experience feel more connected.

3. Send Photo Texts of Your Day

Throughout the day, send your partner pictures of things you're doing. Whether it's a photo of a coffee cup you’re enjoying, a moment from your workday, or a funny scene, sharing these moments lets your partner feel involved in your day-to-day life.

4. Be Fully Present During Calls

When you talk on the phone or video chat, make it a point to give your partner your full attention. Whether you're talking about something meaningful or just catching up, undivided attention is crucial for keeping emotional intimacy alive. Make sure to remove distractions such as TV or multitasking during these calls.

5. Surprise Them with a Care Package

Send a package filled with small, thoughtful items that show you’re thinking of them. It doesn’t have to be extravagant—personalized items, favorite snacks, or something sentimental can make a big impact. Even though my partner stayed in many different hotels, the joy of receiving a care package always lifted his spirits.

6. Surprise Visits

This is a more complicated one, but nothing beats the joy of a surprise visit. Plan ahead, and make sure it’s not an inconvenience to your partner. It's important to manage expectations and be mindful of their schedule, but a surprise visit can bring an incredible amount of joy and strengthen your bond.

7. Always Have the Next Visit Planned

Always having a trip to look forward to can be a huge motivator. Whether it’s a weekend visit or a more extended stay, knowing when you'll see each other next can help reduce the emotional strain of being apart.

8. Share Laughter

Laughter is one of the best ways to stay emotionally connected. Share funny videos, memes, or even inside jokes to keep things lighthearted. Laughing together, even virtually, deepens your emotional connection and helps release stress.

9. Video Calls Are Essential

Make sure you have regular video calls. It’s much better than just voice calls or texts, as seeing each other’s facial expressions creates a sense of closeness. Apps like Zoom, FaceTime, and Skype can help bridge the physical gap. A good tip: Set a specific time for video calls to maintain consistency.

10. Write Love Letters or Emails

Sometimes texting and calling don’t allow for the depth of expression you might need. Take time to write a heartfelt letter or email, detailing exactly how much you love and appreciate your partner. Writing love letters, whether digital or handwritten, creates a timeless connection.

11. Share a Playlist of Meaningful Songs

Create and share a playlist that reminds you both of special memories or songs that have meaning in your relationship. You can exchange these playlists regularly to keep the feeling of "us" alive, even when you're apart.

12. Send “Just Because” Gifts

Surprise your partner with a thoughtful gift that they weren’t expecting. It could be something small, like their favorite snack, or something meaningful like a custom-made item. Uncommon Goods and Etsy are great platforms to find unique, personalized gifts.

13. Celebrate Special Occasions from Afar

Don’t let birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays pass without a special celebration. You can order gifts to be sent directly to them, plan a virtual celebration, or even cook the same meal together over video chat.

14. Take Virtual Walks Together

Using apps like Google Earth or Street View, you can take virtual walks together, exploring new places in real time. You can even pick a spot that’s meaningful to both of you or dream about future trips.

15. Share Your Favorite Memories

Take a trip down memory lane by sharing photos, videos, or stories from your time together before the distance came into play. This helps remind both of you why you’re in this relationship and helps you both look forward to the future.

16. Use Apps Designed for Long-Distance Couples

There are several apps designed specifically for long-distance relationships, making it easier to stay connected and feel closer. Some apps you can try include:

Couple: A private messaging app where you can share photos, create to-do lists, and even send "thumb kisses."
Between: A private space to share photos, notes, and important milestones with your partner.
Happy Couple: A relationship app that lets you answer daily questions about your relationship, helping you get to know each other even more deeply.

17. Plan Your Future Together

One of the best ways to stay motivated during long-distance is to focus on your shared future. Talk about the life you want to build together—your dreams, future home, vacations, or even career aspirations. Planning your future keeps the excitement and sense of purpose alive.

18. Have Deep, Meaningful Conversations

Use the distance as an opportunity to have deep, heart-to-heart conversations. Discuss your goals, your fears, and everything that makes you who you are. These conversations create a deep emotional connection and help both partners understand each other more fully.

19. Engage in Shared Hobbies or Interests

If you both share a hobby, like reading, gaming, or watching certain TV shows, use that to your advantage. You can start a book club for two, challenge each other to a video game, or watch a series together, then discuss it afterward.

20. Be Transparent About Your Emotions

It’s vital to keep the lines of communication open. If you're feeling down or struggling with the distance, be open with your partner about it. Sharing your vulnerabilities can bring you closer together and strengthen the trust and intimacy in your relationship.

Additional Real-Life Activities and Tips:

Cook Together Virtually: Pick a recipe and cook it "together" over a video call. It's fun, interactive, and gives you something to share during the process.
Create a Shared Vision Board: Use an app like Canva to create a shared digital vision board that you both can add to. It can be a fun way to dream together about your future while staying connected.
Take Online Classes Together: There are thousands of online courses available in areas like cooking, photography, or language learning. Choose one to take together, and it will give you both a shared activity to bond over.
Use Time Zone Apps: When you're in different time zones, it can be hard to coordinate. Apps like Time Zone Converter or World Clock can help you figure out the best times to connect.

Final Thoughts:

Long-distance relationships can be incredibly challenging, but with patience, creativity, and the right tools, you can keep the romance alive. Every couple’s situation is different, and it’s important to find what works best for both of you. Whether you’re sending sweet messages, planning virtual dates, or planning your future, the key is consistency, communication, and above all—love.